Robbin Huls's Posts
How will you give him up???
This is, by far, the most common question I get about Paxton (as other raisers do about their dogs). I'm sure the answer is different for everyone.
The first reason is simply - I have to! We sign an agreement when we apply that says that Guiding Eyes for the Blind (GEB) still owns the dog. But that's not how or even really why I'll give him up when it's time.
Of course I love the little guy - who wouldn't love this?!
The deeper answers are more emotional, which is what this is really all about. When I was a kid, I always ordered as many books as I could from our "Weekly Reader" flyer. Most were about animals. One was the story of a boy who was blinded and got a German Shepherd guide dog. I promptly set out to make our family pet my own guide dog and would loop her leash around her, close my eyes and make her lead me around the farm.
As I grew older, I was still fascinated that dogs could be taught to be the eyes of someone who could no longer see. I read about how the dogs were raised by a family for their first year before going to Guide Dog School and decided some day I would raise one. But I always had my own dog - and it never seemed fair to raise a guide dog puppy, taking it nearly everywhere while leaving my dog at home. After the sudden loss of Ero, the time was right to fill the void with this new adventure.
Bonding time - Paxton relaxing after his nightly massage.
GEB helps in many ways. The puppies come to us already named (somehow giving something a name makes it more "yours"). When the dogs go back to Patterson, NY, for guide dog training, the raiser receives a periodic report card. Raisers are invited to the graduation ceremony to meet the new team. Many raisers keep in touch with the dog's partner following graduation. Finally, there is the local group - many raisers who have done this before and can offer support, through our year of training as well as letting go. (Oh, and another puppy coming home from GEB doesn't hurt either!)
During the application process, I talked with other raisers. It honestly never occurred to me to ask how they give them up; I knew it was part and parcel of the journey. One person did volunteer a comment though, "You'll cry like a little girl and be proud as a parent." I think that sums it up well.
As much as I love the little guy, I know he's not really "mine".
Yes, I'm pouring lots of energy and love into raising Paxton. Yes, I'll be very sad to see him go, but everything we do this year will be towards the goal of a new partnership - giving independence to a sight-impaired partner and I cannot deny him his birthright. My sadness will be tempered with that knowledge. Reading stories of such partnerships cements the commitment of what I am doing. Two in particular that have touched me are about Molly and Bronco, and Desiree and Ruth.
One thing I had not really considered is how other people - at work, at church, my extended family - would be affected. They, too, are growing attached to him. In writing this post, I began to consider Paxton's impact on them. I have him 24 x 7, but the people at work have him around all day as well!
It really hit me when I had the requisite quarterly home switch and I brought "Noel" to Kodak with me (while Paxton went off to elementary school for the day with Pam and girls).
Noel's day at Kodak, working on the Kodak Picture Kiosk. Relaxing while I'm on the computer.
I was surprised at the number of people who approached me to find out "What happened to Paxton?!" The "Dog-Swap" is only for a few days, to get the dogs used to other environments and other people (and I think to help the raisers get used to not having "their" dog all the time) but people at work seemed genuinely concerned that they'd not see Paxton again. I can already envision the going away party in the cafeteria with half the building in attendance!
P.S. I'll let you know next year how it really goes!
